"I would like to offer this apology to everyone for the anger and vitriol I have unleashed these past two weeks. I have been in a state of constant anguish and utter powerlessness to stop what I have witnessed take place in Gaza. I have to tell you all I am emotionally drained... I have felt like Im imploding, I've been a nervous wreck for two weeks and all I have been able to do is cry while I listen to my friends desperately cry out for help, truly believing it would come, while I knew it wouldnt... I have had about 3 hours sleep per night, I have no slide show prepared for the upcoming talks... the day I sat down to create it gaza was attacked and I have been crying with my attention firmly fixed, ever since... These last days I have felt utterly lost, out of center, bereft of all purpose or reason and I feel like i am a different person now... I had formed some very close relationships with my friends in gaza over skype these last 2 years and now I have watched them all die, one by one, they go offline, one each day, these beautiful gentle people, killed in the most brutal and horrific manner imaginable.. and there is no sign of a stop to the killing... and I have had to look away because I know I cannot stop it and I simply cannot bear to continue to watch my friends die. I am utterly drained of emotion, I have no tears left to cry and no words i can speak to convey my feelings... I have heard of massacres before, unfortunately they occur all too often, and the lives of each one lost in these events are all of beauty and value, but I have never been so close to have it knock on my door this way... I was supposed to be there with my friends in Gaza this month for Ramadan, and I would have been, but for a 4 day window... when I gave the organizers of the tour in Europe the go ahead to book the flight ticket as it didnt look like I could get into gaza, 4 days later I got approved for entry... had I waited for 4 more days to get that ticket, I would be in Gaza with them now and be as dead as they are... I can only accept that there is a purpose in that, and that I have been spared this end for a reason... This wanton slaughter of gentle and innocent people, and over 900,000 children has been a huge blood ritual.... I believe I have lived through their deaths so closely and so vividly, but from the safety of my home for a purpose. I am a very different man to the one I was two weeks ago. I am stronger, I am more determined and I am fixed in my purpose. I believe I have lived through this genocide so closely and so real because I am the one who is to bring their final story to the world.... because the world has changed these last two weeks. Everything is different now, the big game has now begun, and if people do not look up and pay attention right now, then the way of Palestine will be the way of the world.
I will be back in a few days. Thank you for all allowing me to vent and release my pain during these last two weeks and I offer my apologies to any I may have offended.