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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

"Another Crook Required"

"How About Replacing Disgraced
Crook, Bridget Shaw?"



"List Of Desirable Qualities Of Crook"


1. Ability to absorb and analyse info quickly....
1.a. Yes, I see by the evidence you are innocent, I pronounce you guilty as charged!

2. Integrity....
2.a. Yes, I believe in the State, I will do as instructed!

3. Objectivity....
3.a. Of course I will pretend to look as though I am considering the evidence!
And I will pause, and look deep in thought, before finding you guilty!

4. A commitment to justice....
4.a. I will certainly side with the commercial policy of our courts and government....Maximum fines ordered all round!

5. Public service....
5.a. I will serve government faithfully!

6. Fair treatment....
6.a. I understand this to be siding with the law society & Bar association on all occasions!

7. Ability to inspire respect and confidence....
7.a. A pat on the back from colleagues after stiffing Joe Public for every penny I can!

8. To be able to maintain authority....
8.a. Lying to litigants in person about the jurisdiction of the court, and changing jurisdiction at the drop of a hat, no problem!

9. Ability to work under pressure....
9.a. If Ian or Cyril ask awkward questions that I don't want to, or can't answer, I just ignore them!!!
Got it :)




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