|Oliver Thring says Jersey's Royals Suck|
Jersey mocked in national food critic's report
Oliver Thring, a writer and blogger for the national newspaper, even compared eating some oysters here to "chewing condom".
He says of our famous food culture: "On an island you could fit into Zone 3 on the tube, with a native population smaller than Carlisle's, it quickly emerges that there isn't much of it [food].
"You'd have thought the fish would be fantastic, but 90% of the catch is shellfish, and 95% of that is crab and lobster. Nobody apart from the odd chef seems particularly interested in what the industry calls wet fish, and the best lobsters come from colder waters anyway."
Referring to eating some oysters from a local street seller near 'the harbour', he says: "It's exactly like chewing condom."
Mr Thring is also pretty damning about Jersey's local culture.
He moaned: "The island is still split into parishes for administration, each headed by a constable supported by a volunteer police force. The doleful national anthem is Ma Normandie. The local accent is remarkable, a drawled, glottal muddle of Sith Ifrickan and jarring francophone: they 'plont' potatoes and visit 'Fronce'."
The only thing Mr Thring seems worthy of praise is Jersey's milk, commenting: "The milk is astonishingly good". Though he does go on to criticise the fact that the island chooses not to export it.
And he goes on to give a damning report of our most famous export - Jersey Royals.
He says: "I've been brought up to believe that Jersey royals are the best potatoes in the world. The received wisdom and the marketing seeped through, and like many people who care about food I'd looked forward to their annual appearance in the way you greet early asparagus and the first knobbly morels.
"In a half-empty and expensive restaurant on the island I eat some tiny outdoor-grown Jersey royals, little bigger than peas. I bring some larger ones home with me. And it's the same both times: they taste no better than ordinary supermarket spuds. What I'd been tasting was expectation, advertorial, the fragrance of cultivated illusion. I won't bother in future."
His only kind words were for St Brelade restaurant, the Oyster Box.
He says: "I was disappointed by the food on Jersey, but there were two good things. One was a lovely restaurant called Oyster Box overlooking the cream sand and cobalt sea of St Brelade's Bay, where we ate scallops and chorizo to the yelps of kids kicking a ball around with a brine-haired dog. The other was the closest thing I found to a local speciality, a jar of something called black butter, a tarry, spiced apple jam. I picked it up at the airport from a shop selling tourist tat, which means that the best Jersey food I tried was in my own kitchen, smeared on English toast."
If you can bear to read more, you can see the whole article on the following link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/apr/20/jersey-no-haven-for-foodies
If you can bear to read more??? That sentence just sums up Jersey's media attitude.
Why can Jersey not take fair criticism from outside of Jersey, even inside for that matter?
The truth is that "Jersey Royals are crap" just tasteless, expensive garbage with all the flavour of a ceramic tile!!! I have eaten many as they used to be fabulous potatoes, but over the last 15 years they have become as bland as the Bailiff's annual public address. Perhaps our farmers should go back to the old methods of fertilization instead of filling the earth with toxins and making veggies tasteless.